Sitting on the front stoop at Lando Mines
Ingrid was always so loving and caring for all of us, but we two share a special bond. Perhaps it's because we were the first two, and so had only each other to play with, and to be best friends with for awhile. Regardless of the reason, there was nobody I looked up to like Ingrid. I believed everything she told me, and knew that she always had my best interests at heart. So, that made my little episode with her monkey all the more painful for me, and even now I cringe when I think about it.
My dad was going to a business school in Roanoke, Virginia part time, and so was gone a fair bit of the time. He was trying to get his two year degree, so that he could get a job outside of the mining industry. He didn't want to end up like my grandfather, who also worked at Lando Mines, and who also eventually died of black lung.
Dad came home one Saturday with a very special surprise for Ingrid's fourth birthday present. He showed it to me while Ingrid was out, and I was totally fascinated. It was a toy wind-up monkey that played a drum and cymbal set. I'd never even imagined something as wonderful as that monkey. He'd played his instruments like a total maniac, and made a lot of noise in the process. I knew Ingrid would love it too. After showing it to me, dad put it into the bottom drawer of the hutch...and cautioned me to keep the secret. I promised I would.
All the rest of the day, my mind kept going back to that monkey. I could see him clearly - his red velvet uniform, embellished with gold trim; his little red fez hat with a gold braid on top. When he played the gold braid whipped to and fro, and added to the frenzied appeal of the toy.
I realized at one point that I was alone in the house, and I felt compelled to take just one more look at that monkey. I pulled open the drawer, and eased him out. I didn't dare turn him on because of the noise, so I just turned him around and inspected him from every angle. How did he work? I couldn't see anything obvious. I knew that winding the key was important, but how did he move, and hit the drums?
I decided that if I could peek under his jacket maybe I'd see something important. So, I pulled on the lapels, and they didn't budge. I pulled harder and the jacket started to peel off slowly. Underneath the monkey's jacket was shiny metal. Hmmm.....maybe if I pulled some more away I could understand better. After all, I'd just put it all back the way it was when I was done.
I continued the process of peeling the poor monkey until everything except his hat was gone...jacket, pants, and fur - all in a pile at my feet. All I could see now was a metal monkey, with obvious joints in various places...but still no clue as to how it worked. I sighed, and considered my next step. But just then I heard voices outside, and knew my time was up. I picked up the little jacket and tried to put it back on. It went on sort of, but didn't stick to the metal like it did before. It had gotten all stretched out of shape as I peeled it off, and so it just hung there in a very ill fitting way. I got the same result with the fur and other clothes.
I was getting desperate now, and my hands were beginning to shake. It finally came clear to me that I had permanently made a mess out of the monkey, and that it was obvious to the most casual observer that he had been totally trashed. I felt terrible, and didn't know what to do. Now the voices outside sounded closer, and my mom and dad were coming up the stairs on the porch. I scooped up all the pieces and looked around in panic. I kicked the drawer shut, and rushed over the fireplace. We heated our house with coal, but there was no fire in it at the moment, only a deep bed of ashes. I plunged the monkey and his clothes and fur parts deep into the ashes.
When they all came inside, I just knew I would be found out...and I did get some strange looks from my mom. But she didn't ask me anything, and I stayed out of her way as best I could. I spent the rest of that day, and evening in suppressed terror. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done, and then how I'd made it even worse by hiding my ill deed. I thought many times about just telling mom or dad, but couldn't bring myself to do it.
When bed time finally came, I was exhausted with worry...but sleep didn't come easy. I finally drifted away with images of an angry metal monkey playing over and over in my mind. The next morning, the memories of the day before filled my mind as soon as I awoke. I was hoping by some miracle that I had just dreamed the whole thing up, but of course I had not.
It was Ingrid's birthday and she was so excited. She could hardly wait to open her presents, and so my dad went to get the monkey out of the drawer and give it to her. He opened the drawer, and stood there stunned to find that it was missing. He looked at my mom, and she shook her head silently side to side...she hadn't moved it. Then they both turned to look at me at the same time. I felt like the end of the world was upon me, and my eyes darted from one to the other...again in panic, but then I was filled with the conviction that I was the most awful person who had ever lived. The enormity of what I done to Ingrid, who was my best friend in the whole world, struck me in the heart. I couldn't bear it anymore, and started crying like an air raid siren. I literally wailed, and shook, and gasped for air...while tears flooded down. I've never felt so miserable in all my life.
Mom and dad came and stood over me...just staring down at my display. Dad finally asked me in a harsh voice "What have you done son?". I couldn't talk, and still sobbing I pointed at the fireplace...and moved in that direction. Dad looked there and then back at me in disbelief. What??? He went to the ashes and raked his fingers through them - immediately finding the poor monkey. He shook it off and blew away some of the ash, and then looked at me again. He didn't have to say a word...his look of disappointment was totally devastating, and I cried even harder to know that I'd let him down so badly.
I finally had the courage to look at Ingrid, and she was puzzled by all that was going on. Dad told her that he'd gotten her the monkey as a special present, and then said "Now look at it....it's ruined." Ingrid took it slowly, and looked at it, and then at me. It's hard to describe her expression, but she didn't look mad or even angry. Still just puzzled. Dad then showed her how the monkey could play, and at least that part still worked. Ingrid laughed as she watched it. Then she looked at me again, and I could see the forgiveness in her eyes. Now I really cried! Ingrid never said a single bad or angry thing to me about it, and just carried on like having a naked, metal monkey was absolutely the best thing she could have hoped for.
Now that is what I mean about Ingrid when I say she was an angel to me. Of course I still got punished, but I actually looked forward to it in an odd way...hoping to repay my sins sort of. But I couldn't help but feel the joy in my heart to know that my best friend was still my best friend, and I swore I'd never, ever let her down again. I can't say that I haven't let her down, but I can say that I've never forgotten what she did for me that day and always done my best to keep my promise, and still do.
Lessons learned: I understand the true meaning and danger of monkeying around with stuff that doesn't belong to me. The love of my big sister knows no bounds.
That one made me cry.
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