Finger Food

Was just eating a sandwich with lunch meat, and had an injury deja vu experience. Not for real, just remembering how it went.

I loved bologna sandwiches since some time before I was born, but with four kids under the age of 5, my mom was often a tad busy...like "move aside kiddo, I've got stuff to do" busy. So, we were living in East Kermit, West Virginia. Sounds like it was a nice place...but it wasn't much to look at, and even worse to live there.

There were only four houses there, but in West Virginia that qualifies as a suburban community. We were a mile or so outside of the metropolis Kermit. No it wasn't named after the ditsy frog of Muppet fame (or maybe it was?). The place was right on the Tug river, and it was totally rat infested...but I digress, and will save that for another story.

Where was I? Oh yes, hungry and dismissed. So I figured I was a big boy of three years and could make my own damn bologna sandwich. Only problem was that it wasn't sliced...it came in one of those big rolls that looked like a King Kong hot dog. That wasn't going to stop me...I pulled open the kitchen drawer that was up above my head, and felt around until I found the one and only sharp knife we owned. It was known as the "butcher knife", but as far as I know none of us were actually butchers.

I got it down, and held it in my right hand. I held the bologna roll in my left, and with wild abandon, started to cut me a respectable slice. It never occurred to me that it wasn't such a smart idea to make cuts directly at my supporting hand...but I learned really quickly about the injury potential that would create.

The knife went through the meat like a hot butter, and then into the joints of all four of my fingers. Bingo, blood all over and pretty intense pain. I looked at my bloody fingers in disbelief, and let out quite a yell. My mom dropped everything and came to see what all the ruckus was about. I ended up getting quite a lecture and four really cool band-aids with stars on them - one for each finger.

Lessons learned: Always avoid finger food...and sharp knives when you are three years old. Get your bologna pre-sliced and save your digits for your computer.